Sunday, November 07, 2004

Why is it that I spend one night with a guy. Just one. Nothing happened that night that was special in any form of the word, yet I can't get over him. What determine's attraction. The kind that isnt phsycial. The kind you can't control. God damnit. I want to control it.
and asking her heart for guidance
was like pleading with a machine
cuz joy, it has its own justice
Every time I am in Microeconomics sitting in the second row with kyle, evan and the rest, I wonder if he is sitting second from the back with his fellow frat brothers or if he skipped. Whenever I go to SigmaNu I know he's there. When I walk back from HoCo with Nicki and he stops and talks to me about econ. [me in my gross gym clothes and cornrows] I die inside. I know nothing is going to happen..and he probably thinks nothing of me, especially by the beruit table with two girls dancing on him while I'm playing two feet away.
But I can't get over it. It's as if that night is all I got.

end of story.

Move on
to what...the next guy?
I don't get what people mean when they say that. To my perfect single life? because frankly if it were perfect I wouldn't be looking.

correct?
I give up.
I actually don't want any guys... for a while. No cock and balls for me.

Bianca
6:42 PM