what if no one's watching
if my life were a movie
there would be a sunset
and the camera would pan away
but the sky is just a little sister
tagging along behind the buildings
trying to imitate their gray
the little boys are breaking bottles
against the sidewalk
the big boys, too
the girls are hanging out at the candy store
pumping quarters into the phone
'cause they don't want to go home
and i think,
what if no one's watching
what it when we're dead, we are just dead
what if it's just us down here
what if god ain't looking down
what if he's looking up instead
if my life were a movie
i would light a cigarette
and the smoke would curl around my face
everything i do would be interesting
i'd play the good guy
in every scene
but i always feel i have to
take a stand
and there's always someone on hand
to hate me for standing there
i always feel i have to open my mouth
and every time i do
i offend someone
somewhere
but what
what if no one's watching
what if when we're dead, we are just dead
what if there's no time to lose
what if there's things we gotta do
things that need to be said
you know i can't apologize
for everything i know
i mean you don't have to agree with me
but once you get me going
you better just let me go
we have to be able to criticize
what we love
say what we have to say
'cause if you're not trying to make something better
then as far as i can tell
you are just in the way
i mean what
what if no one's watching
what if when we're dead
we are just dead
what if it's just us down here
what if god is just an idea
someone put in your head
i mean what
what if no one's watching
what if no one's watching...
God, I could post the entire Imperfectly Cd. Each song reminds me of my own life.
Bianca
9:33 PM
Yes, so tara's birthday was fun, dispite the little break up towards the end. We ate tons of food, played guitar, chilled, music. Was fun. Dave and James never came though. You guys suck! But it's all okay because they wish they were there. Oh and I got to meet her friend Amelia from Wilton and tara I love and forgive you. So a bunch of us went back to Mindys house, I went to Blockbuster and rented HalfBaked. Soo funny. Yeah and Kirby called me a smelly Immigrent!! lol. So all in all. fun night.
Today I went to the library to work on my Latin project, and tara showed up and scared me lol. But oh man, she's the sweetest thing ever. Online i told her that I missed the old her, and she came up to me in the library and was like, "I was going to buy you a new ring with all the money that was saved up" but her dad didn't let her... *frowns* But no worries, it's the thought that counts. I was so shocked though. What I said mattered, for a while it didn't. Welcome back. lol. god, im so happy reight now guys...dispite the huge ass Latin up my ass project due tomorrow... Hm... yeh, I'm definitely skipping class tomorrow.
p e a c e .
Bianca
5:39 PM
These are pictures Tara took a long time ago, and I found them sprawled amoung many other pictures on her bed the other night...
Bianca
2:25 PM
Bah early dismissal today!! I hung with people. first mindy and rockemore, then Arielle and Alex at Friendlys, then Starbucks, then we went to tara's. Then dropped Arielle home, then chilled at my house with Alex and Tara, then went downtown, then went to Anna's, then went to Julie's. Then went home. Sometime in there I started feeling really down. I don't know what started it, but I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't speak for fear that as soon as I were to open my mouth, I'd bawl my little asian eyes out. I didn't want to be with anyone. I didn't want to spend another night smoking up, I didn't want to sit around doing nothing in the downtown parking lot, or any parking lot for that matter, I didn't feel like searching for fun...because lately it only consists of drugs. Can I have a sober night? Hm... well a sober FUN one.. Yeah, I just wanted to sit at home and be sad by myself, so if I were to break down, I could do it in my own peace. I was stressing about this Latin Project my teacher assigned that due on monday so I told Alex I'll just go home and work on it. Alex was sweet tonight. She drove me home and later told me she might stop by with food, or call or something. So I got home and went down to my basement and put on DMB - Crash and listened to it two times through..falling asleep for thirty minutes inbetween. God, it made me feel better. Ahhhh, the power of music. "What if they came down crushing, Remember when I used to play for all of the loneliness that nobody, notices now" ..."I have no lid upon my head, But if I did, You could look inside and see what's on my mind"..."There was a window and by it stood, A mirror in which, He could see himself, He thought of something, Something he had never had but hoped would come along, Cry freedom, cry, From deep inside, Where we are all confined, While we wave hands in fire, Wave our hands"..."Then comes the day, Staring at myself I turn to question me, I wonder do I want the simple, simple life that I once lived in well, Oh things were quiet then, In a way they were the better days"
I woke up to ProudestMonkey and guh.. I dunno.. bliss. I was happy...yeh it's 11:40 right now, and I don't think I'm going to start my latin project tonight, nor do I think I'll be able to finish it by monday.. maybe Ill skip class monday and hand it in tuesday? god.. I hate school.. but I'm now at a peaceful state, so I don't feel like thinking about school shit.
Bianca
11:41 PM
Bianca
6:45 PM
Dude,
It's 2003! ...and it doesn't even feel like it. At all. No worries though.. Last night was fun, it was me and a bunch of persians lol. yes!! Hah I chilled with Tara and her family friends, celebrated her birthday with em. Drinking, toking, movies, food... omg tons of food. We were gunna go to a party but Will was being annoying..Hah and Tara has a garden of thongs where she grows all her sounds..oh man. Uhhhh..what else what else, oh the night before we missed DeepBananaBlackout I was so fucking pissed. The're never having a show again. e v e r. I'm going to go shoot myself now.. Hm.. Hope everyone had fun for new years, I know MIndy was at RustedRoot and James was at Phish and I'm jealous for the both of 'em. No worries though.
What Incubus Album Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Score! Your "Make Yourself". You LOVED "S.C.I.E.N.C.E." but now you've grown and matured a bit, and enjoy songs like "Drive" and recognize the meaning behind greats like "Pardon Me". Most people will label you poser or sellout, but you just have a mind and use it. "Dont let the world bring you down.." Kudos to you.
What Incubus Song Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Hey there Plato, you are "Drive". Praise whatever you praise for the wits and intelligence and maturity you contain. You have a beautiful mind and let no one tell you different. You know where your going in this life and the ball is in your court. Run with it!
Bianca
5:45 PM