Bah early dismissal today!! I hung with people. first mindy and rockemore, then Arielle and Alex at Friendlys, then Starbucks, then we went to tara's. Then dropped Arielle home, then chilled at my house with Alex and Tara, then went downtown, then went to Anna's, then went to Julie's. Then went home. Sometime in there I started feeling really down. I don't know what started it, but I was on the verge of tears. I couldn't speak for fear that as soon as I were to open my mouth, I'd bawl my little asian eyes out. I didn't want to be with anyone. I didn't want to spend another night smoking up, I didn't want to sit around doing nothing in the downtown parking lot, or any parking lot for that matter, I didn't feel like searching for fun...because lately it only consists of drugs. Can I have a sober night? Hm... well a sober FUN one.. Yeah, I just wanted to sit at home and be sad by myself, so if I were to break down, I could do it in my own peace. I was stressing about this Latin Project my teacher assigned that due on monday so I told Alex I'll just go home and work on it. Alex was sweet tonight. She drove me home and later told me she might stop by with food, or call or something. So I got home and went down to my basement and put on DMB - Crash and listened to it two times through..falling asleep for thirty minutes inbetween. God, it made me feel better. Ahhhh, the power of music. "What if they came down crushing, Remember when I used to play for all of the loneliness that nobody, notices now" ..."I have no lid upon my head, But if I did, You could look inside and see what's on my mind"..."There was a window and by it stood, A mirror in which, He could see himself, He thought of something, Something he had never had but hoped would come along, Cry freedom, cry, From deep inside, Where we are all confined, While we wave hands in fire, Wave our hands"..."Then comes the day, Staring at myself I turn to question me, I wonder do I want the simple, simple life that I once lived in well, Oh things were quiet then, In a way they were the better days"
Bianca
11:41 PM