Tuesday, September 10, 2002

Alright, as of now I like two people. Both are completely different but have qualities I like, yet one of them has lately been questionable. Things are complicated with us, mostly because I can't decide what I want. There's the difference between what I want and what I think is best for me...or him. Then there's a very fine grey line inbetween. Things are so fucking confusing right now. Hmmm.....I like it. But I'm planning on hanging out with both of them with weekend. Testing the waters...leaving my options open...or something...I'm just worried about digging myself deeper into a game I don't know how to play, and as of now, I don't even know where I stand. So I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. I feel really helpless as of now, like all I can do is sit around and wait...and me being impatient, waiting around doesn't fly too well. I feel like No one else cares so I have to do things myself
But I'm letting go a little and letting things take its own course. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong...The thought of not being able to control my life frightens me a little. Then again, I love surprises.
"Life is a b movie
it's stupid and it's strange
a directionless story
and the dialouge is lame
but in the he said she said
sometimes there's some poetry
if you turn your back long enough
and let it happen naturally
oh, yeah
hell yeah"

Bianca
11:03 PM